Things I Donch Know

There are a lot of things that I donch know.

Recently, I went for an interview. Initially, I was all confident, after all it was the headhunter who... erm.... hunted for me.


Scene 1: Conference room for interview. 2 interviewers, one a Chinese (C) and the other an Ang Moh (AM).

C: Can you tell us specifically what are some of the contributions you have made in your current position.
(Flashback to all the time spent on MSN.) I donch know what are the contributions I have made.

C: Do you know how to make use of ????? (unfamiliar computer programme)
I donch know what that is.

C: It is a programme to ....................., ............., .................. and...................
I have never heard of it and I donch know how to use it.

C: We have this new product that we want to market to xxxx. How would you go about doing it?
This, I seriously donch know.
Those guide to interviews always reminds us to take our time to think carefully about the answers (rather than saying anything silly, stupid, or senseless), right?. The interviewers are supposed to understand that you need time to come up with something sensible, right?

C: Do you need us to step out for 5 minutes?

Me: Gibberish... gibberish... gibberish...
I donch know what I was saying.

AM: I didn't understand. What did you mean when you said......................?
Die. The Ang Moh donch know what I was saying too.

AM (again): Feelie-fey-leh.... feelie-fey-ley......
Mati. I donch know what the Ang Moh was saying too too.


Scene 2: 1.5hrs later and out of the office.
I felt like and idiot and donch understand why I agreed to come for the interview.


Scene 3: 1.5wks later and back at the office.
I still feel like an idiot and donch understand why I am back for a 2nd interview to be an idiot in front of a larger group of people.


Scene 4: 1.5days after the 2nd interview.
I donch know why I was offered the job.